Tip Jar — MommiesCafe

Christmas Let-down and the Second Semester Blues

January 4, 2010 By Jgrimes Leave a Comment

Let’s face it. We all find it difficult to get back in the swing of things following the long break over Christmas. With the welcome reprieve from homework, deadlines and alarm clocks, this feeling is magnified for our high school kids. After the stress that comes and goes with mid-term exams, it is never easy to approach the last half of the year with the same intensity of a new school year. The entire family must be retrained to go to bed early and embrace the school routine, and as the second semester approaches, an atmosphere of dread can quickly overtake our households. My own 16-year-old daughter, Malloree, never found it necessary to voice her opinion of the months that lay ahead. Her expression said it all. During our ten hour drive back home from all the holiday festivities this past weekend, left alone on the road to ponder our thoughts, we all hated for the freedom and fun of Christmas to be over. But with a plan and zone defense, so to speak, we will get through this together. Here are a few ideas that may help your family as well.

Give them a reason to start off strong. The hardest part of any task is to start. Help your son or daughter look forward to it with a weekend celebration following their first week back to school. Invite a friend over or go to a movie.
Get organized ahead of time. This is our first full winter living in Michigan, which translates into frigid temperatures and rare school closings due to snow. We have a ready supply of scarves, hats and gloves waiting by the door. Malloree has to layer up for the walk between buildings for her classes, but can easily get too hot during the day. Planning what to wear and packing all lunch items, backpacks and coats is a must the night before, or something important will be forgotten.
Focus on the next break. For us, mid-February offers another full week off from school. Knowing that in just over a month she will get to go visit her friends provides plenty of motivation to get through these cold and snowy days. And then, soon comes Spring Break in April, the next light at the end of the tunnel.
Stick to a routine. Dinner is at the same time every night, providing a couple of hours for homework when she first comes home from school. Structure takes the guesswork out of both our mornings and our evenings.
Let the little things be little. All we ask from Malloree is for her best effort. She tends to stress herself out over her grades without us ever mentioning it. We remind her to have fun and don’t find it necessary to discuss school often. She spends the majority of her life consumed with it, so it is up to us to provide the balance and the permission to take it easy once in awhile.

The daily grind of high school takes it toll on all of our kids, but with our support and a team effort, the halfway point can be a reason to celebrate. The truth is that too soon, days like this will be a distant memory and each moment should be enjoyed as much as possible.

Filed Under: Fresh Coffee, Parenting Tips

Money Matters With Kids

January 2, 2010 By Mommies Cafe 1 Comment

Growing up in poverty, there wasn’t a lot of cash to manage, but there were many ways to experience money troubles. I watched my parents repeatedly overspend using credit cards, then file bankruptcy when they were in debt so deep that they couldn’t get out. Aside from this pattern, I had no idea how to manage money as I broke out on my own. Money management became even more important a few years ago as I faced a job loss, and my husband and I found ourselves forced into raising our family of four solely on his income. We were also several thousand dollars in debt with no end in sight. Determined not to follow my parents’ example, my husband and I buckled down and worked together, clawing our way out of debt before my paycheck stopped arriving. I transitioned into my role as a stay-at-home parent, focused on saving every penny possible while raising my two boys, who are now seven and four years old. As my oldest child in particular began to be aware of his world, he started to want things that cost money. I decided to take these every day opportunities to begin teaching him how to manage money.

Explain Our Culture Usually when my two boys want toys or food, they’ve either seen the products in a store or on TV. Instead of dismissing these desires out of hand, I take the opportunity to discuss with them why they want particular products. I start by asking them why they want a particular product they’re requesting, and usually I can point out that they’ve seen it on TV or in a store we’ve been in. I then explain that people in companies who make those products also make the commercials to advertise them. Next I point out that when we go to a store, these products are down at a level where my children can see them, and that this is a strategy to help sell these toys or food items. I’m careful to point out that these desires aren’t “bad,” but to take a few minutes to think about where their wants come from, and contrast these with our family’s needs and priorities. One of the biggest priorities for us is to live within a budget, and we can’t do that if we impulsively buy anything we want.

Set Up A System Each of my kids has three piggy banks: one is for Giving, one is for Saving, and the last one is for Spending. Each week, my children get an allowance from me based on what I think is age appropriate – for example, my seven year old gets $2.50 a week. I give out allowances on Sundays in small increments so that the money can be divided between the three banks. The purpose of the Giving bank is to donate money to an organization in our community or to our local church. My kids decide every month or so where the Giving money goes. When we adopted our puppy earlier this fall, my son and I discussed how his “Giving” money could help the Humane Society. There are many organizations that can benefit from donated funds. The Saving bank is for saving money, and our guideline is that if money is put in that bank, then it’s going into the actual savings account at our local bank. The amount collected is matched each year on his birthday when he deposits it into his account, and it is not to be withdrawn. And probably the favorite bank of both my children is the Spending bank. That money is theirs to spend as they see fit. They also use this bank to collect money for larger purchases, instead of spending it out of hand as soon as they receive their allowances.

Consistency is Key In our family, the weekly allowance is not tied to chores that are done around our house; we’re all expected to work together to maintain our living space. We all have chores each day, and my husband and I also get an allowance as well in the form of cash that isn’t tied to household duties. Usually on payday, I get a specific amount of cash in small increments to use throughout the month for the kids’ allowance each Sunday. They also receive allowance on the same day each week – for us it’s Sundays – because it helps them plan for purchases they want to make and helps teach them consistent realities about money. The most important of these realities is that if you don’t have the money, then you can’t spend it. This also means that it’s important to avoid rescuing children when they experience this reality. Sometimes it’s tempting or easy to think, “I’ll just buy this for him/her this time.” However, I think this works against the whole idea of teaching kids about managing money, and there won’t be anyone to rescue them as adults. But what should our kids buy with their allowances? For my kids, these don’t include necessities like food, clothing or even entertainment. When instances come up when they want to do something fun, my husband and I are honest about what we can spend with our budget, and there have been times when our children have chosen to contribute using their allowance money. Most of the time, however, they buy $1 toys, candy or gum – stuff that I won’t usually get them from the grocery store. It’s never too early or late to begin teaching kids about money management. From a simple conversation in the grocery store or a detailed explanation about how savings accounts work, there are several daily opportunities to help kids understand what managing money is all about. About the Author: Kelly Wilson is a busy mother, writer and money-saver. Obsessed with finding the best deal, she never goes anywhere without a coupon. She currently lives with her husband and two small children in Portland, Oregon. You can read more about her and money-saving strategies at www.wilsonwrites.com .

Filed Under: Financial Tips, Fresh Coffee

Setting an All-Year Resolution

December 30, 2009 By Mommies Cafe 6 Comments

As the holidays wind down, people start considering New Year’s Resolutions, where they look at the mistakes of the past and try to set resolutions for a better year. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t wait till a New Year to make positive changes in your life. However, since it’s that time of year, I’d like you to consider setting an All-Year Resolution. Why an All-Year Resolution? The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that many of these resolutions don’t stand the test of time. Meaning, you make a resolution to do something better, and then something happens, a little bump in the road, and then your resolution falls to the wayside.

According to John Norcross, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, about forty to forty-five percent of Americans made resolutions each New Year, but less than half of them actually follow through. Just like fad dieting, setting resolutions and breaking them do nothing to help your situation and may even make it worse. Let’s use the popular, “Get out of Debt” resolution as an example. Many folks make a resolution to get out of debt once they see the damage of their holiday shopping on their credit card bills. They create a plan to get out of debt, and for a while it goes pretty well. But then something happens: a personal emergency, unexpected expense or the next holiday rolls around. The credit cards get pulled out and the charging begins. Each time those cards come out, it becomes harder and harder to keep to those resolutions. Because they’ve been restricting their spending for so long, they go on a little…or big spending spree.

An All-Year Resolution is a lifestyle change. That change starts from within, not by changing what you eat or where you buy your clothes. It’s a decision to change your life for the better. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, get out of debt, save more money, or any number of resolutions, make sure that you build a firm foundation of change. It should be a realistic change. Set short term and long term goals, create an achievable plan and take each step at a time. Don’t rush your resolution. If you’re struggling to set that foundation, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. There are doctors, nutrition counselors and personal fitness trainers to help with health and weight issues. There are personal finance counselors to help you create a budget, get out of debt and save more money. You don’t have to be alone in finding the solution. About the Author: The following is a guest post from Kathryn Katz, a Certified Personal Finance Counselor who works for Consolidated Credit Counseling Services in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Their non-profit credit counseling agency helps families through financial crisis.

Filed Under: Financial Tips

How to get the perfect family photo

December 4, 2009 By Mommies Cafe 1 Comment

Getting the perfect family photo for your holiday cards can be an overwhelming task. You want to get a great picture of your family to share with your loved ones as painlessly as possible. I remember the da holiday family ys of lining up on the couch next to my brother and sister bored and uninterested. Someone poking someone else, bickering, meltdowns, there was always one kid who was not willing to participate in the picture taking. Does this sound like your house? We have compiled a list of tips to help you get the best possible family photo with out the stress.

The family picture does not always have to be formal. Less formal often equals less stress.
Take candid shots! You will get real smiles out of your kids, not phony ones, if you capture them doing something they enjoy. Sit them down with a favorite toy and you are sure to get smiles. They don’t have to be dressed up either, a cute photo in pajamas under the covers playing is always fun. To get good candid shots take a lot of pictures, this will give you more to choose from.

Get down on their level. When taking pictures of children sit or kneel down to their eye level. Their expressions will be livelier, and the perspective more natural. The angles and lighting will also be more flattering.

Lighting. Speaking of lighting, lighting is a major part of taking great pictures. You can get really beautiful pictures of your family outdoors, if you follow a few simple tips. Shoot in the morning or late afternoon, the light is softer and looks better on film. Pick a place in the shade and use your flash. Most cameras are set to auto flash and your flash won’t go off outside. Change the setting manually and use your flash. Using your flash will eliminate shadows on your subject’s faces. For indoor pictures let in as much light as possible and turn all of the lights on. Do not take your photos standing in front of a window or other light source. Your camera will focus on the light and drown out your faces.

Keep trees from growing out of your heads! Pay attention to the background. Plain backgrounds work best and ensure that the focus will be on your family and not the background. Sometimes the background is part of the story, pay careful attention to what is in your background and use the simplest area possible.

Get closer! Fill the frame with your subjects and not the room. This will also help eliminate background issues. Most people do not get close enough when taking a photograph. If you didn’t get close enough the first time, you can crop your picture later. Once again the key here is to focus in on what is most important, your family!

Posing. If you are trying to achieve a more formal photograph you may want to pose your family. Try out different poses. Don’t be afraid to experiment, you can always delete it later. Use your tallest subject on the ends of the photograph and work your way in to the shortest. For a large grouping around the couch, pull the couch a few feet out from the wall. Pose one third of your subjects behind the couch, one third sitting on the couch, and the rest on the floor. Instead of asking everyone to say cheese, tell a joke or do whatever makes your family laugh.

Remember to have fun with it! The more relaxed you are the more relaxed your family will be. Follow these simple tips and you will have holiday pictures that you can not wait to send out. Good luck and happy holidays.

Author Bio:
Brandy Tilley is the president of SwankyChicks.com an event company specializing in favors and invitations. Swanky Chicks is wedding and shower planning made easy! Swanky Chicks is carrying a modern line of holiday photo cards this year in addition to their invitation line, and offering 10% off your entire order now through December 15th when you use coupon code XMAS.

Filed Under: Fresh Coffee, Parenting Tips

Paper,Bills,Clutter Oh My!!

May 22, 2009 By Mommies Cafe 2 Comments

You're a busy mom; you have to shuffle school work, doctor notes, work papers, bills, etc… Papers, papers, papers!!! I want to focus on one section of your many papers… "your bills". When you get your bills what do you do with them? Do you put them in a box, bin, desk or the nearest open space? Pick your poison, and I did them all, then would sort them, mark due dates on calendars, and then file them in designated files. Ideally this would look nice and neat, but did I forget to mention this was when I was able to get back to them. Not to mention that when I did get to them hoping they would still be where I put them. If they weren't I would retrace my steps, all the while praying that the kids didn't use them as their new art project of the week. Needless to say it was clutter in my house and late payments. Seeing that things needed to change to function better, I recently decided to go green with my bills. During this process I didn't know it would turn into a great time saver and save some clutter from my house. I know this is probably old news to you computer guru mothers out there, but it was great for me when I figured it out and thought I would share for those of us who need a starting place. I like things quick and easy, so I supplied some lists below to help you go green with your bills! Initially this process may take awhile to set up, but it will be worth it in the end. Read the tips below and let me know if it helps your family!

Write down all your bills to insure that you don't miss any.
Set up a new email account ie Janesbills@forexample.com . The purpose of this new address will only be used for your bills so you drastically limit the amount of spam, if any, that you get on this account. This will allow you to get your bills faster and avoid getting lost in your personal emails.
If you don't already have one set up you need to set up an online account with each of your bills. (Most, if not all, companies have a website where you can see your accounts online.) ***Make sure to setup using your new email address***
So you don't have to remember several usernames try using the same user name for all your bills or different variations that your know you will remember ie..janedoe…jane214. For those of you that already have accounts set up you can go in and just change your username.
After you have everything set up you will need to create online folders for each of your bills. You can do this through your email service provider or in Outlook. I personally prefer Outlook because it gives you a lot of filtering choices.
Use your online calendar to add your bill due dates. Some of your bills probably offer alerts to be sent to your email. Just go to your online account and check your settings. I highly encourage you to use your calendar alerts and set them to pop up when you log on your computer.
This same process can be done with Business Expenses
You will read this often from me. Have an external hard drive and back up EVERYTHING!!! Once a week is good

Implementing this process will allow you to save time, money and be organized. Time saver-If you are clutter bug like me, you will no longer have to search high and low.

Money Saver-No more late fees(If you have the money to pay it of course)

Organized-At the end of the year you will have all of your bills in neat online folders waiting for you!

Filed Under: Fresh Coffee, Organizing Tips Tagged With: bills, family, organize, time, work at home mom

The Domino Effect

May 21, 2009 By Mommies Cafe Leave a Comment

Okay Okay, I know it’s always said that the grass always looks greener on the other side, but I’m going to say it anyway. The moms out there that have 1 kiddo have it easier than they think when it comes to cold/flu seasons (and whatever virus decides to show up)! Whenever one of my girls gets sick I immediately try my best to exterminate the virus. Sometimes I have great success, and then other times it’s the domino effect. When one falls they all fall!! Despite my best efforts I wipe and disinfect, and it goes completely through each of them then another one gets sick again with different symptoms and it starts all over again. It would be great if it went through all of them then stopped, but then that would be too perfect. You know you can’t have too many of those at once, without throwing something else off. “God forbid” mommy gets sick, but that would be a whole another post. In the mean time here are 5 tips to help minimize sickness in your home with the kiddos, no matter how big or small!

1. Wipe down everything (preferably with eco-friendly sanitizer) that is touched by the little hands. For example, door knobs, toilet seats, drawers, toys, and windows if they love to look out.
2. Wash sheets, pillow cases and anything that is shared by the family to avoid spreading more germs.
3. Partner with some moms and go to your children’s school once a week and wipe down the classrooms.
4. (With this one do as I say not as I do!)Try your best to limit the time your sick child is with your other kids to lessen the exposure.
5. Make sure to monitor the other kids, that they are not eating or drinking after a sick child